NYGA\B on the Issues: “Vegetarian Eating”

Dietary restrictions are a popular way to start a conversation. The NYGA\B must pop our head through the door just to say: Stop pushing your vegetarian ways around the deck like slop-water!. Have you ever paid to watch a movie in a theater and reached for your belt on account of other customers back-talking the projection? “Oh no.” “Don’t do that!” “I don’t understand what’s going on.” “This is so fake.” “I hate him.” Who are those people, and who gave them a golden pass? Goddamn vegetarians.

We’ve looked at books. Mostly, they say: go on and eat that meat. There is a rich tradition there, and if you’re a bit peckish about preparation, swell your eyes acres bigger than your stomach. You won’t regret it, little guy. You don’t have to listen to them-you never did. They would live in colonies if allowed, doing chores for each other and shit.

Different schools of thought hash out the works. Don’t let it get you down: Eat the meat.

Honorably,
Ogden
(Pending Approval: Stephen for D.E.)

“Changing Course....” or “The Future of Farming Young Men: New Impartial Correspondent Sebastian Documents Dave’s Dream and the Deep Forest"

S: I am Sebastian. No one knows me.

St: I am Stephen. I speak carefully, and relate action. Doctor Eight is sitting beside me. Tell me about yourself.

S: I am a prospective junior from Geeseytown, outside Hollidaysburg, outside Altoona.

St: Enough! We found him on our trip and now he will ask the prepared questions.

S: Uh...What were you doing all the way out here....in the woods?

St: We regrouped under the standard of chapped and sworled grieving. We lost a man and found him again. I saw fish in a dam! There is no question that it was a first rate adventure but also a parable of our times. We killed the beast. We cut his throat. We spilled his blood.

S: Do you have a Blair County hunting license?

St: I gave you a paper with questions. I gave you instructions.

D.E.: Stephen.

St:.......

S: What did you eat out there?

St: We made our own food! I grill, and fiercely. Vegetables take more time than meat. Doctor Eight took the single room and wrote on his vintage secretary table, longhand. When we ate there was no secrecy. Then we attended a Sunday supper at Dave’s dream. We saw some local color, and received the sideways glances.

S: So, what’s next for the NYGA\B after your exploration?

St: I’m glad you asked Sebastian. A new outfit will be dedicated to the history of our organization. Too much happens without impression on the record! New initiatives include free bike repair for children whose parents are sick fucks.

D.E.:.....

St: We’re going to repair bicycles. I am ennobled by the man-time. We....Doctor Eight has established a cadre of issues to clarify. They will stretch out in time in the worst way and no one will question our authority as the pre-eminent men’s club! Be on the lookout for big-time issue invasion from the NYGA\B I can tell you that. Next question.

S: What are the origins of the NYGA\B?

St: Shrouded in mystery no longer! Doctor Eight is a man. He did the right thing after receiving a couple of shafty lessons in life. He contacted people that he heard of several years ago, and they designed the care-giving capital. Our membership is vast, but at heart, there is a sweet center of role-models. I love this club. I’m married to it. No bullies and feeling trying. Cater to none, bun some. I love Doctor Eight. He plays around in the serious ways. You like me? You want in Sebastian?

D.E.: Enough.

S: Do I still get to try out? My parents.....

D.E.:.......

St: Chancre. Slobo-dan.

S: Is he okay?

St: Salty.

D.E.: This is the conclusion of the interview.

S:.....

NEW FEATURE: NYGA\B on "The Issues"

Before nancying away, try this on for size: we’re under scrutiny. Several non-profit velvet-pillow ladies have threatened the retraction of their sizeable yearly contributions on account of the “increasingly nebulous” club position on “The Issues.”

Guffaw at the granny-panties but when you’re feeling stretched wide it’s not wise to constrict your conscience, Juniors. It can, and will, bleed out. Senior strategy is a hard-boiled clarifying effort. Deep tissue investigation into “The Issues” will be conducted and then released for muffy consumption. Our immortality will not be clingy vines on this shit, but when have we ever avoided tender sharing?

Pilot Issue: Guns!



Kids play with them! There are popular mental stars that wave them around! The NYGA\B doesn’t endorse or condemn those rocket powered machines called guns. Police wear them like a hot topic! Gangs are groups of people that use these party poles to go on stake outs and hide things from most other people who aren’t in those gangs.

Guns are not physically allowed in the NYGA\B club perimeter, but someone may have fired one. That’s ok! New experiences can really change a Junior’s mind about standing next to that old lady and showing her with his smile that he kind of loves her.

We have noticed that some people have that gun attitude. They talk about an attack that’s coming. There may be an attack coming, but stop talking you tiny bubble. Shave your moustache and take off that backpack. Your gun attitude wouldn't get you detention if you had had club fun to direct your aggression in a positive direction.

Guns: Rocket powered wonders!

Reporting,
Ken
(Approved by Stephen for D.E.)

Big Camping Yank for Selected Seniors

There is a time to mourn, and a time to have a feely retreat. Doctor Eight is ready to move on, and his fierce friends will watch that line crossed in the wilderness. Tune up, the camping is in Penn's Woods.

Stephen, Aron, Mark Douglas-Kenner's cousin Ken, our Armenian friend, and Doctor Eight will pow-wow at Canoe Creek park on Novemeber 16-18th in a modern cabin. We have taken simple blunt precautions to prevent "Lord" Sheepsnake from diddling anyone's dangle on this day, I can tell you.

We will report. Don't expect sacrifice outside of the club.


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Goodbye,
Stephen
(Approved D.E.)