Doctor Eight Quietly Releases Rare Mark Douglas-Kenner Interview
The following are excerpts from a precious interview with Mark Douglas-Kenner, posthumously cleared for release by Doctor Eight. Content has been edited for the security of this Men’s club. Do not ask for more.
Stephen: I am Stephen. I do not need to explain myself.
Mark Douglas-Kenner: I am Mark Douglas-Kenner, in application to NYGA\B, and I would like to join you a lot.
S: Stop that yammering.
MDK: Yes.
S: There are thirteen questions that Doctor Eight and the Seniors will witness you answer truthfully. You may think, “This isn’t a big deal at all. This is something that people do every day in interviews for jobs.”
MDK: ....
S: Shut up!
MDK: ....
Excerpt Interrupted
S: Question Three. Describe a bullet you once dodged.
MDK: I almost really got it for [redacted], but did I learn my lesson on that day I can tell you.
S: Thank you for being brief. Question Four. Why did you sing in a choir? What was that life like?
MDK: Um, at first my parents made me, in Pennsylvania, and it seemed boring at first and then fun. I remember Washington Memorial Chapel, Shoo-Fly Pie, the feeling of singing lightly over the ten...
S: Enough!
MDK: Sure. Ok.
Excerpt Interrupted.
S: These questions are stripping you down. Do you still want to be in NYGA\B?
MDK: Yes.
S: That was not the eighth question, puffpump! What is service to you?
MDK: Is that the....?
S: Yes!
MDK: Oh, uh, service is doing good for other people. And...
S: Speak so Doctor Eight might hear you and be proud, jerk!
MDK: Service is when you do something and don’t ask for anything in return?
S: That sounds interesting to us all.
MDK: Thanks?
S: Shut your mouth!
Excerpt Interrupted
S: That wraps it up for Mark Douglas-Kenner and his club friendship. He is a failure and can’t think for himself. We laugh at him ha ha noxious gas! Fuck you, pal. Fuck your family!
MDK: I’m sorry. I’m....so....sorry. [redacted] I made myself a reminder.
Doctor Eight: I have heard enough.
S: Doctor Eight?
D.E.: Bring him to the kitchen.
Interview End
Stephen: I am Stephen. I do not need to explain myself.
Mark Douglas-Kenner: I am Mark Douglas-Kenner, in application to NYGA\B, and I would like to join you a lot.
S: Stop that yammering.
MDK: Yes.
S: There are thirteen questions that Doctor Eight and the Seniors will witness you answer truthfully. You may think, “This isn’t a big deal at all. This is something that people do every day in interviews for jobs.”
MDK: ....
S: Shut up!
MDK: ....
Excerpt Interrupted
S: Question Three. Describe a bullet you once dodged.
MDK: I almost really got it for [redacted], but did I learn my lesson on that day I can tell you.
S: Thank you for being brief. Question Four. Why did you sing in a choir? What was that life like?
MDK: Um, at first my parents made me, in Pennsylvania, and it seemed boring at first and then fun. I remember Washington Memorial Chapel, Shoo-Fly Pie, the feeling of singing lightly over the ten...
S: Enough!
MDK: Sure. Ok.
Excerpt Interrupted.
S: These questions are stripping you down. Do you still want to be in NYGA\B?
MDK: Yes.
S: That was not the eighth question, puffpump! What is service to you?
MDK: Is that the....?
S: Yes!
MDK: Oh, uh, service is doing good for other people. And...
S: Speak so Doctor Eight might hear you and be proud, jerk!
MDK: Service is when you do something and don’t ask for anything in return?
S: That sounds interesting to us all.
MDK: Thanks?
S: Shut your mouth!
Excerpt Interrupted
S: That wraps it up for Mark Douglas-Kenner and his club friendship. He is a failure and can’t think for himself. We laugh at him ha ha noxious gas! Fuck you, pal. Fuck your family!
MDK: I’m sorry. I’m....so....sorry. [redacted] I made myself a reminder.
Doctor Eight: I have heard enough.
S: Doctor Eight?
D.E.: Bring him to the kitchen.
Interview End
posted by Doctor Eight @ 2:58 PM
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