Popular Interview With A True Original

NC: I am a well known newscaster.

TO: I am A True Original.

NC: There are are about a trillion things that distinguish you. Let's get down to details.

TO: All right.

NC: How do you do things differently?

TO: Well, who could advance this long strange tale without organizing things for themselves. Part of the latest initiative is keep track of everything that I say and do. Modestly, it's just the way that words kind of pop out of my mouth. I'll say something. You see where I'm coming from? I'm a little hesitant to throw my weight around with you. Especially because I think so much of the strength that you believe that you have comes from your clothes. The weave is generous. Your face though. Should I not say it?

NC: A True Original, do you worship anything?

TO: Well, I've actually found that things kind of operate the other way around, if you know what I mean.

NC: Ah, let me put it another way. There are plenty of ways to get that whistle in your mouth, but what makes you blow real hard?

TO: I don't understand the words you're saying.

NC: How do you deal with the cult of celebrity that seems to dog you?

TO: I mean, who doesn't like a nice smooth hand job from time to time?

NC: I see. One more question. What's your favorite thing to eat?

TO: If I had to pick, I guess I'd say passing around a hot urn of Tasting Tradition with some close friends. I burn my damn mouth every time, but it's worth it. It really brings people together.

NC: Well, thank you A True Original, good luck. Good luck.